Faith No More’s Roddy Bottum Unveils Queer Memoir: Candid Revelations in Exclusive Interview

As Roddy Bottum embarked on penning his impressive autobiography, The Royal We, the keyboardist for Faith No More had a clear vision for the type of book he wanted to avoid. “Not the ones with glossy photos in the center,” he shared over a video call from Oxnard, California, amidst the final touches on a new album by his band Imperial Teen. “I generally find rock memoirs fairly formulaic with their excessive name-dropping and clichéd narratives,” he added.

The Royal We steers clear of such tropes—Bottum doesn’t even mention the last names of his bandmates. While it touches on the band’s formation and its initial phases, the narrative quickly shifts to his early adventures in San Francisco, “in a time before the internet transformed the city.” A significant portion of the book is dedicated to his journey of sexual discovery and the impact of its secretive nature on his life. “I started having relationships with men at a very young age, around 13 or 14,” he reveals. “It was a forbidden affair that shaped much of my life’s path.” The memoir doesn’t shy away from depicting his youthful explorations, from cruising public restrooms to park encounters, with raw honesty and defiance.

“I often begin my readings with those passages,” he mentions. “I know how bold those statements are; they’re quite shocking. But I’m not embarrassed. In an era with Trump as president, it’s crucial to assert one’s truth against the prevailing winds of racism, transphobia, and homophobia,” he pauses, “I aim to provoke. I have family who are devout Christians, and disrupting their Thanksgiving with my book is intentional—they’re all going to read it.”

Bottum recounts his move from his hometown Los Angeles to San Francisco as a teenager. “It was a stark contrast from the sunny, superficial vibe of LA,” he describes. “It was colder, darker. The people, the drugs like crystal meth and heroin, the vibrant queer scene—it was all so different and inspiring.”

It was 1981 when Bottum joined the band Faith No Man, which would later become Faith No More, alongside Billy Gould and Mike Bordin. He brought a unique dimension to the band’s powerful rhythms by integrating keyboards, an unusual choice for rock bands at that time. The band saw a revolving door of lead singers, one of whom was Courtney Love, described in the book as a force of nature, causing tumult and leaving a mark everywhere she went.

“Courtney and I recognized a kindred spirit in each other right from the start,” Bottum says. Their friendship, which briefly turned romantic, resulted in a pregnancy that ended in abortion. Over time, Bottum became a close confidante of Love and her husband, Kurt Cobain, portraying her not as the villain some make her out to be, but as a brilliant and misunderstood figure.

“Courtney faced tough challenges,” he acknowledges. “She’s a powerful, intelligent woman, and that makes for a compelling subject. She’s also incredibly warm and caring, qualities not often highlighted by others. We looked out for each other.”

Looking back, Bottum views the early days of Faith No More as somewhat ludicrous. Their style was defined by heavy, repetitive grooves performed under the influence of drugs, including MDMA, and their original frontman, Chuck Mosley, was not particularly skilled as a singer. Yet, their ambition was undeniable. “We were all about the dark, goth stuff, yet we adored MTV, Madonna, and Cyndi Lauper. Somehow, we saw ourselves fitting into that scene, despite our rough edges,” he explains.

Their tongue-in-cheek rock-rap track “We Care a Lot” gained minor traction on MTV in 1988. Mosley was replaced by the more visually appealing and vocally talented Mike Patton, and by 1990, their third album had become a major success, earning Grammy nominations. However, The Royal We quickly moves past these achievements to their problematic 1992 tour with Guns N’ Roses and Metallica.

Describing the tour as “the largest rock spectacle of its time,” Bottum recalls the alienation Faith No More felt amidst the “noxious” rock ‘n’ roll environment they found themselves in. He vividly describes unsettling interactions with groupies and the aggressive machismo exuding from the Guns N’ Roses crew, which ultimately led to Faith No More being dismissed from the tour for criticizing Guns N’ Roses in the media. This experience was a pivotal moment for Bottum, compelling him to publicly embrace his identity.

The following year, against his managers’ advice, Bottum came out as gay in an interview with the Advocate. “I was the only openly gay rock musician at that time. Icons like Freddie Mercury, Michael Stipe, and others hadn’t come out. It was infuriating. I felt compelled to stand up and be counted, to help normalize queerness in the music scene. And the response from young LGBTQ+ fans was incredibly affirming—they saw me as a role model,” he reflects.

Despite his open sexuality, Bottum had never discussed this aspect of his life with his bandmates, although he traveled with his boyfriend on tour. “They were progressive and would have accepted me,” he admits. “But the scars from growing up gay in that era—the shame, the societal rejection—were deep.” He found a kindred spirit in Cobain, who embraced and celebrated Bottum’s identity. “Kurt was exceptional; he played with the idea of being gay just to provoke. We had a deep connection because of this,” Bottum muses softly.

Bottum, Cobain, and Love were united during this period by their struggles with heroin addiction. “Heroin was my way of dealing with the pain of living a double life,” he confesses. “I didn’t realize the full extent of its destruction at the time.” In 1993, after a near-fatal overdose in New York, Bottum, alongside Love and Cobain, planned a joint trip to rehab. Sadly, only Bottum followed through. Shortly after his return from rehab, Cobain took his own life.

“Experiencing death so close and so brutally was shattering,” he recalls. “But it was a stark reminder of why I needed to maintain my sobriety.” In the wake of this tragedy, Bottum founded Imperial Teen, a band that openly celebrated queer themes. “Writing this book made me realize, this was my silver lining. Coming out of the darkness, acknowledging my true self—it changed everything. Imperial Teen represented a new chapter, where I no longer had to hide who I was,” he reflects.

The narrative of The Royal We concludes before delving into Faith No More’s eventual breakup and reunions, Bottum’s ventures into film scoring, and his opera about Sasquatch. “I’ve always been drawn to misunderstood characters with a touch of tragedy, like the Elephant Man or Frankenstein’s monster,” he smiles. “Perhaps it’s because I see a bit of myself in them—a misunderstood creature with a heart of gold.”

The Royal We by Roddy Bottum is published by Jawbone Press Ltd, £16.95

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